WELLBEING

Why you need to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable

7 December, 2023 . 0

Leaning into discomfort can help negative emotions lead to positive outcomes. Here’s how to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable – and why you should.

If you typically consider feeling uncomfortable as a signal to do a 180 and retreat from a situation, it may be time for a different approach.

For starters, a 2022 study found when people actively pushed themselves to feel uncomfortable while undertaking a challenging task, they wound up taking more risks, made more progress and learnt more.

The study also found that leaning into discomfort can help you stay motivated and engaged when you’re processing a difficult life event, learning about a troubling health situation or trying to understand a confronting issue or someone else’s viewpoint.

It’s worth rebranding ‘uncomfortable emotions’

Certain emotions can cause discomfort such as fear, sadness and anger, and recent research shows how you regard these emotions can impact your mental health.

In a nutshell, people who judge them as “bad’’ may be more likely to experience anxiety and depression.

“Our research suggests that it may be beneficial to accept those unpleasant emotions as normal responses to the situation that will likely pass with time, rather than judging those emotional responses as bad or wrong,” study co-author Emily Willroth, of Washington University, says.

Interestingly though, while being accepting of uncomfortable emotions can be a positive for mental health, that doesn’t mean you have to simply accept every situation that causes you to experience them.

“It’s OK and often beneficial to try and change the situations that give rise to negative emotions,” Emily says.

“For example you might make changes to a busy holiday schedule so that you feel less overwhelmed, or you might set boundaries with your family to reduce feelings of sadness or anger.”

Seeking discomfort could help take the pressure off

More than one-third of Australians say they feel pressure to meet the expectations of others, a trait that’s a hallmark of people pleasing.

“We all want to do our best to keep others happy, especially our loved ones,” says Luke McLeod, founder of meditation and mindfulness app Soul Alive.

“But when we do this at our own expense it can become unhealthy and even detrimental to our mental health.”

To work out whether your people-pleasing is problematic, Luke suggests first becoming aware of how and when you’re doing it, and then stopping the people pleasing that’s impacting your mental health.

And while that may feel uncomfortable, you will reap the benefit of investing in yourself.

How to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable

As well as making the effort to be more accepting and less judgmental of those uncomfortable emotions, Luke says practising meditation may help.

“Because the core act of meditation is observation, it’s a great exercise to teach us how to start becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable,” he says.

“For example, you can use meditation as a life simulator of sorts where you visualise yourself people pleasing and notice how and why you are doing it as well as how it’s affecting your mental health.

“These simulations also prepare you for when they arise in real life, so that you’re more prepared to deal with any feelings of discomfort that may arise if you do choose to pull back.”

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Written by Karen Fittall.