WELLBEING

6 easy ways to spring-clean your sex life

5 September, 2023 . 0

Bedroom romance get a little dormant over winter? The season of new beginnings has sprung, now is the perfect time to spring-clean your sex life. Here’s how.

Spent the last few months hiding under a blanket, binge-watching your favourite shows?

Spring has sprung (finally!), which means it’s high time to come out of hibernation, dust yourself off and get ready for a seasonal refresh – including in the bedroom.

We asked the experts how best to revitalise a sex life that’s lost its sizzle.

6 ways to spring-clean your sex life

1. Talk to each other

Simply talking to your partner about your sexual needs and desires is important for both your relationship and sexual satisfaction, researchers have found.

Lovehoney sex and relationship expert Christine Rafe says communication is key.

“If we can’t communicate what we want or need, it’s going to be hard to have a satisfying sex life,” Christine says.

She recommends beginning any conversation about sex or intimacy with something positive.

“Start with what is working, for example, say ‘I am really loving…’,” Christine says.

“Then you can go on to discuss what could make sex even better, such as ‘I’d love to do more of…’.”

Sex therapist and hypnotherapist Dr Janet Hall agrees ongoing communication is vital.

“You’ve got to be open to chat about it,” Dr Hall says.

“Don’t just wait until the end of the month and realise you haven’t had sex all month.”

Dr Hall recommends organising a set time each week to chat with your partner about how things are going in life and in the bedroom, and ultimately how things could be improved.

2. Spruce up your bedroom

It turns out an untidy bedroom could be making a mess of your sex life.

“Clutter in the bedroom is a very real factor in willingness to have sex,” Christine says.

“So spring-clean that bedroom and think about what you can do to create a sanctuary, rather than (it) simply being a place to dump your clothes.”

With the change of season, try switching out snug winter blankets for silky bed linen.

Dr Hall also recommends updating your personal lubricant.

“Lubes can go stale and that’s not healthy, especially for women’s more sensitive parts,” Dr Hall says.

“Don’t keep using the same tube for three years and expect that it’s going to be healthy for you.”

3. Compare notes

Dr Hall says she gets couples to independently write a list of all the good things about sex.

“So, why do you want to have sex, what are the benefits of sex,” Dr Hall suggests.

She recommends couples then share their notes, and talk about how to integrate their wants and needs so that both get their top priorities.

4. Explore what feels good

Christine says masturbation is part of a healthy sex life.

A recent survey of more than 1000 Aussies by Lovehoney Australia found 87 per cent of respondents agreed masturbation is good for mental health.

And a 2015 study of married women found those who masturbated reported more orgasms, higher self-esteem, increased sexual desire, and greater satisfaction with their marriage and sex life.

“Exploring what feels good for you is a great way to maximise your pleasure, and build understanding and confidence in asking for what you want,” Christine says.

5. Add variety to spice it up

In long-term relationships, it’s easy to fall into a routine or “sexual script”, Christine says.

“When most people think of novelty, they think it’s got to be kinky, but just deviating slightly from the usual routine can help.”

She says variety could be as simple as starting with a shower instead of climbing into bed, or focusing more on non-penetrative sex if you usually include penetration.

Dr Hall says spicing it up depends on the individual.

“Novelty is not essential, but every now and then it gives us a new zest,” Dr Hall explains.

“Every now and again, it is good to shock yourselves into doing something different, even if it’s just using your left hand instead of your right hand.”

Christine says incorporating variety into your sex life can include exploring erotica together or trying sex toys, props or sensory items.

6. Choose a favourite fragrance

Dr Hall says one of her top tips for heterosexual couples is to find a signature “sex scent”.

“So go to Chemist Warehouse together, have a wander down the fragrance aisle and find one that is the biggest turn on for the woman,” Dr Hall says.

She suggests only the man wears the fragrance in the bedroom – he can freely dab it around his chest, tummy and pelvis.

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Written by Bianca Carmona.