6 unwritten rules of friendship in the age of social media
From liking your friend’s posts to seeking permission before sharing pictures of their new baby, here’s how to nail social media friendship etiquette.
In the digital age, maintaining friendships has taken on a new form.
From Instagram likes to Snapchat streaks, our interactions with friends are increasingly happening online.
While it’s great to have the convenience of staying connected at our fingertips, it also means navigating a whole new set of unspoken friendship etiquette.
But unfortunately, social media doesn’t come with a rulebook.
Whether you’re a social media maven or a casual scroller, understanding the dos and don’ts of online friendship is key to keeping your relationships strong and meaningful.
From liking your friend’s posts to seeking permission before sharing pictures of their new baby, these simple yet crucial rules can help ensure your friendships thrive online and in the real world.
Listen to child and adolescent psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg talk about the impacts of loneliness on teens, and how parents can help kids cultivate positive social media habits.
Why is social media etiquette important?
Whether someone has posted a bad picture of you, or you have been sent 50 texts through direct message, we’ve all been on the other side of poor social media etiquette.
These actions can leave us feeling upset, uneasy and, possibly, even reconsidering friendships.
It’s essential to maintain appropriate manners and due diligence when interacting online.
Etiquette Expert founder Jo Hayes says applying the same rules of respect you use in your day-to-day life goes a long way.
“The Golden Rule for social media etiquette is the same that applies to all areas of life,” she says.
“This means respecting rights, privacy and avoiding any gossip or slander.
“Remember the 101 of being online: once it’s out there, it’s out there.”
How can bad social media etiquette impact you?
Charmaine Schembri, founder of marketing and branding consultancy Little Miss Social, says poor online habits can be a “relationship wrecker”.
“Oversharing, posting without consent or engaging in public spats can quickly turn friends into foes,” she says.
“The internet never forgets, and those digital faux pas can linger, affecting how people perceive you.
“It’s always better to play it safe and stay respectful,” she adds.
Louisa Guise, author and digital marketing professional, says social media has taught us to be reactive in many situations, which may lead us to acting impulsively online.
“Just because we can say something at the moment it comes into our head, doesn’t mean we should,” she says.
“We should be very aware of this so that we don’t annoy or upset the people we care about, unintentionally.’”
Guise, the author of How to Leave a Group Chat, adds that not following good etiquette can give a bad impression of people.
“This could even go as far as to ruin our job prospects or unintentionally break the law.”
Listen to clinical psychologist and BeyondBlue spokesperson Dr Luke Martin discuss how to make new friends and create meaningful connections:
The rules of social engagement
1. Think before you post
Schembri says thinking before you post is the “golden rule”.
Asking yourself why you are posting, if the post is kind, and analysing if it’s offensive can help avoid any posts you’ll regret later.
2. Share the love
Liking your friend’s posts is a small but significant gesture that shows you care about their life updates and achievements.
Guise says it’s an easy way to support and celebrate them, whether they’re sharing a milestone, a beautiful sunset or even a funny meme.
3. Respect privacy
Not everyone will want their lives broadcast to the whole internet, which is why asking for permission before posting a photo or video of others is essential.
“It’s not worth posting something that your friend might not want to share … just because you can look good on social media,” Guise says.
Hayes says this especially applies when other people’s children or family members are involved, as well as when posting events such as weddings and births.
4. Be mindful of tone
Seeing facial expressions and body language are always tell-tale signs of a sarcastic comment or joke.
Unfortunately, a screen removes this possibility.
“Texts and comments are easily misunderstood,” Schembri says.
She recommends keeping the tone “friendly, clear and kind” to avoid any misinterpretation.
5. Respect personal messages
No one likes to feel suffocated.
It is all right to message new people and aim to build fresh connections, but keep the messages at a minimum, and take any lack of response as a hint.
“Make sure your message is respectful and considerate,” Schembri says.
6. Switch off
Guise says treating her phone like an old-school answering machine, opting to reply later, and also leaving it out of sight, helps her be more mindful of social media overuse.
“Being in such close contact can strain relationships,” she says.
She also recommends leaving group chats that don’t serve you any purpose, and restricting how often we contact people can be beneficial.
“Social media isn’t personal, and the people who are closest to you will be available in the real world too,” she adds.
More on social media etiquette:
- Are your group chats getting out of control?
- How to make social media work for your wellbeing
- 5 signs you need a break from social media
- How to stop ‘phubbing’ to save your relationships
Written by Ravisha Rajapaksha.
