Why school anxiety is rising and how to help your child

As students head back to the classroom, increasing numbers of families are dealing with their child’s school refusal. Here’s why and what to do.

Do you have trouble getting your child to go school in the morning?

Are they always telling you they’ve got a sore tummy?

Or just flat out refusing to go?

They’re not “putting it on” or being deliberately defiant.

According to University of Queensland psychologist Professor Vanessa Cobham, they might have what’s known as school refusal, and it’s on the rise in Australia.

“When we talk about school reluctance or school refusal, these are not diagnoses themselves, they’re symptoms or consequences of anxiety or distress,” Prof Cobham, a consultant to the Triple P Positive Parenting Program, told The House of Wellness Radio.

• Back to school: How to set your child up for a positive year

What is school refusal?

School refusal is when a child’s anxiety, distress and reluctance to go to school causes them to have trouble leaving home, lock themselves in their room or tell you they’re sick.

The national trend of school refusal among primary and secondary school aged children has prompted a Senate inquiry.

What’s driving the increase in school refusal?

While it’s difficult to get precise numbers on how many kids are experiencing school refusal, Prof Cobham believes the impact the Covid-19 pandemic has had on youth mental health is a driving factor.

“We think from information we have from school staff there has been an increase in kids’ reluctance and refusal to go to school – but it’s hard to get hard data on that,” Prof Cobham says.

“We do know since the pandemic there has been a spike in kids and adolescents reporting a higher incidence of anxiety, so that would then make sense to me that we would see a follow on increase in reluctance about going to school.”

Other factors that might drive school refusal include family or friendship problems, bullying, poor results/struggling with academics, moving schools and issues with a teacher can trigger an increase in student anxiety.

“It might be around emotional interactions, friendship, it might be around the work, they’re finding the academics difficult,” Prof Cobham says.

What are signs your child has school-related anxiety?

There are a number of indicators a child may be experiencing school-related stress.

“They might dawdle more than usual, really drag their feet in terms of getting out the door,” Prof Cobham says.

“You might generally be in the habit of talking about their school day, and you see a change, they don’t want to talk about what happened at school.”

Other signs according to Headpsace, include:

• Distress and anxiety about going to school
• Getting upset or crying before school
• Complaining of feeling sick. Eg. they have a sore tummy, are going to vomit or have a headache. These symptoms subside while at home during the day
• Refusing to get out of bed, leave the house or get out of the car when at school
• Difficulty going to school after a break or a change in school routine. Eg. school holidays, and weekends.
• Being late or absent from class frequently (spending lots of time in sick bay)
• Poor relationship with their teacher

• Tough day: How to help a child who hates school

How to support a child with school refusal?

Prof Cobham says parents and educators can play a key role in supporting kids with school refusal through open communication, understanding, establishing a safe space and academic support.

“The attitude I’d be recommending is ‘I’m on your side, I’m here to listen when you want to talk, and I’m here to help you figure out solutions to your problems’,” she says.

It’s also important to get to the bottom of what’s causing the anxiety.

“Depending on what’s driving (the school refusal) you’re going to handle it differently.

“If you’ve got a child who has dyslexia and they’re anxious about school because they’re not keeping up with the work, you’re going to deal with it differently to someone who is experiencing separation anxiety, or someone worried about what’s happening in the friendship situation.”

Written by Kate Salemme.