WELLBEING

How to thrive after divorce – and crush your next chapter

23 July, 2024 . 0

The breakdown of a marriage can leave you feeling lost, but it can also be a launchpad to a happier, more fulfilling life. Here’s how.

When “I do” turns into “I don’t”, it is natural to feel heartbroken and overwhelmed.

About one-third of all Australian marriages result in divorce – and while it may seem like the end of the fairytale, it can also mark the beginning of a brand-new story, family lawyer and divorce coach Cassandra Kalpaxis says.

“Separation gives people the opportunity to start anew, to prioritise their own needs,” Cassandra says.

“It can also help you gain insight into who you want as a partner, your expectations and non-negotiables.”

Here, Cassandra shares her top tips to help you crush your next chapter.

How to thrive after divorce

1. Take time to heal

Divorce can be daunting, but acknowledging your feelings and giving yourself permission to grieve are the first steps towards a brighter future.

“Don’t be afraid to give yourself time to heal,” Cassandra says.

“Acknowledge the past and then let it go.”

2. Rebuild your social network

Women sometimes forget to prioritise their own friendships during a marriage, so creating new connections after a separation can be crucial.

“Don’t be afraid to go out,” Cassandra says.

“In order to meet new people, you need to be prepared to put yourself out there.”

3. Find your passion

Ever wanted to take a pottery class or take up tennis but never had the time?

You do now, Cassandra says.

“Divorce can give you something you never had before, which is time – time for yourself to do a class, go out with a friend, or go to the gym,” she explains.

4. Express yourself

Self-expression can be incredibly cathartic, Cassandra says.

“Journal during the hard days,” she suggests.

“A gratitude journal can help to keep things on track.”

5. Build a support system

Create a safe space where you can openly talk about your worries, fears and concerns.

“Speak to people you trust – don’t be afraid to be vulnerable,” Cassandra says.

6. Embrace the new you

Seize the opportunity to reinvent yourself.

“Many women lose themselves during a separation, they can no longer identify who they are, what they value, what brings them joy,” Cassandra notes.

“Experiment with your style, your clothes, your hair, your jewellery.

“This is … about stepping into what feels right for you.”

7. Do it your way

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing and moving forward.

“Let go of other people’s and society’s expectations of what separation looks like,” Cassandra says.

“This is a time to do what feels right for you.”

When to seek professional support

Mental health therapist Stella Ladikos says serious challenges can emerge after a divorce, including financial strain, social isolation and shared parenting issues.

“Divorce can bring up feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt and trauma; you may feel unsure or feel lost,” Stella says.

“Therapy can be a safe space to unpack any feelings you’re experiencing through the divorce, and help you with some strategies to better navigate this period of transition.”

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Written by Dimity Barber.