WELLBEING

6 things to start doing if you want to boost your dating game

11 July, 2024 . 0

Wondering how to make yourself more romantically attractive? Here are some tips – and they have nothing to do with your looks.

When it comes to dating, we try and present ourselves at our absolute best – groomed, polished and put together.

But when it comes to attracting others, looks are only part of the picture.

Other factors such as body language and sense of connection also play a big role.

The good news is you can work on these skills to help you turn your love life around.

How does attraction work?

“Attraction is far more complex than what someone looks like physically,” says sexologist Laura Miano, the co-founder of sex toy brand Posmo.

“Connection is at the core of attraction and while physical looks might make someone intrigued in – or look at – you, it’s all of the other elements that will truly form the connection and, therefore, the attraction.”

Psychologist and Couples Therapy Melbourne co-director Emma Cholakians describes attraction as a complex interplay of psychological and biological factors.

“Specific actions and behaviours such as eye contact, body language and displaying confident physical movements can trigger attraction,” Emma says.

“Such behaviours communicate interest and availability, which can lead to creating a sense of intimacy and connection that is foundational for attraction.”

Six things to start doing to be more attractive and up your dating game.

Make eye contact

Emma says eye contact has a critical role in forming an impression and developing relationship dynamics.

“Mutual gaze has been shown to increase activity in the amygdala, the brain region involved in processing emotions,” Emma says.

“This heightened activity can intensify emotional experiences, making the interaction more memorable and impactful.”

Laura also notes the importance of eye contact in sexual attraction.

She says a strong gaze not only conveys confidence, but also infers that a person is genuinely connecting with you – and connection is sexy.

Be mysterious

Certain types of actions, movements and qualities can trigger sexual attraction in people – and, according to Laura, mystery is one of them.

“Someone who is mysterious can bring out curiosity in others,” she says.

“Desire for them comes from a place of intrigue and curiosity.”

Use positive reinforcement

Harnessing the power of positive reinforcement could also help you appear more attractive to others.

This could be in the form of praise or recognition for something they’ve done.

Show appreciation

In therapy, Emma says, clients often describe feeling more attracted to their partner when they feel acknowledged and appreciated.

“Familiarity also plays a role, as repeated exposure to a person can increase our attraction to them,” she adds.

Listen carefully

Emma says good social skills, including effective communication and active listening, can significantly enhance perceived attractiveness.

“Positivity can also be very attractive,” she says.

“It is contagious – people are naturally drawn to those who exude happiness and optimism because these emotions tend to uplift the mood of those around them.”

Be self-aware

While attractiveness is subjective, you may improve your romantic chances by working on particular traits.

Laura notes: “If someone found confidence sexy, for example, then absolutely, you can improve your attractiveness by working on yourself.”

More dating tips and advice:

Written by Emily Holgate.