Why you shouldn’t instantly dismiss a ‘beige flag’ on an online dating profile

They’re an indicator that someone could be too boring to date. But should you heed ‘beige flags’ in a dating profile – or give the person a chance?

You’ve probably heard of red flags and green flags in online dating profiles.

They’re the early warning signs that someone might be wrong, or right, for you.

But how about beige flags – and do they really indicate if someone is boring?

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What are beige flags exactly?

In a nutshell, beige flags are predictable, cliched dating profiles that list unoriginal interests (such as going for long walks on the beach) and give bland responses to questions.

Holly Bartter, the founder of online dating service Matchsmith, describes beige flags as “playing it safe”.

“It might be ‘I’m obsessed with coffee’ or ‘I like to travel’,” Holly, whose service offers everything from polishing people’s profiles to managing their dating app accounts, says.

“Basically, they’re run-of-the-mill statements that could apply to anyone and don’t really say much about who that person is, what they’re looking for and what they’re passionate about.”

TikToker Caito, from @itscaito, is said to have come up with the term.

Calling herself the “CEO of beige flags”, she looks at dating profiles and gives her verdict on them.

For Caito, beige flags are warning signs that someone’s probably boring.

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Are beige flags a genuine deal breaker?

Should spotting one or more beige flags in a potential date’s profile mean an automatic disqualification?

“Not necessarily,” dating and relationship coach Debbie Rivers says.

“I think everyone wants someone who stands out and isn’t using all those terms that everyone uses, but by the same token, writing a profile can be really tough for some people.

“Maybe they’ve Googled how to write one and it says to include something about food, so they write they like pineapple on pizza without knowing that’s generic or a beige flag which gets them ruled out.”

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Why are people boring in their dating profiles?

Holly says beige flags can pop up in people’s profiles for all kinds of reasons.

“I think for some people there’s an element of not wanting to come across as though they’re trying too hard to meet someone,” she says.

“Other people just aren’t sure how much they should reveal about themselves and then for others it can be a mixture of not feeling confident and not wanting to boast about anything.

“You really can’t tell everything about someone from a few lines in a bio.

“It’s a very restrictive space and some people simply may not be the best in written form.”

Debbie agrees: “You can’t understand someone’s energy or necessarily get a good feel for who they are from a profile.”

“I think looking out for beige flags is keeping people from meeting great people.

“It’s another trend that will keep people single.”

The popularity of online dating

Dating apps are now the most common way for people living in Australia to meet a new partner, according to a 2021 report by Monash University and eHarmony.

The number of Australians using online dating is expected to be 3.4 million by 2027, according to data company Statista.

That’s a lot of people scouring dating profiles for potential love interests.

But how can you tell if someone is likely to be the right person for you?

With beige flags struck off the list as an effective way to rule someone in or out of your dating pool, here are three questions to ask yourself.

Question 1: Does the dating profile have at least some personality?

Even if it has a beige flag or two, is there something in the profile that shows you who this person is and what they’re into?

“Make sure there’s enough in the profile that there’s a little bit to hook on to and start a conversation,” Holly says.

It may even be something you notice in a photo rather than what’s written.

“That’s often where an initial spark can be that you’re attracted to that person,” Holly says.

Question 2: Does the dating profile ‘make sense’?

This question is not about: “Does the profile make grammatical sense?”

It’s about: “Does the profile say one thing but show another?”

Holly says this means seeing if the profile photos look genuine and also making sure the photos and the bio align.

“If someone writes that they’re looking to date someone who’s really low-key and stable and who’s into staying at home watching TV, but their photos show them doing nothing but partying with two drinks in their hand at all times, that’s something to take note of,” she says.

“It all has to make sense.”

Question 3: Is the banter good?

“Ultimately, you have to have a little bit of back-and-forth chat on the app to decide whether a person is someone you’d like to meet in real life,” Holly says.

She suggests catching up sooner rather than later.

“Meeting in person is the only way to tell if there’s an actual connection,” Holly explains.

“And it’s also how you’ll know whether the person is genuine about wanting to meet someone rather than just floating around in the app.”

Debbie agrees wholeheartedly.

“At the end of the day, I just think: Let’s stop judging people based solely on their profiles or what happens online and let’s go on real dates.”

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Written by Karen Fittall.