The best ways to support your child through school exams

Exam stress is tough on students and their families – but experts say there are things parents can do to help their kids cope.

If you’re a parent to a student sitting year 12 exams, you’re probably no stranger to the stress and anxiety commonly experienced at the end of the school year.

A national survey has found almost 50 per cent of young people are dealing with extreme study stress, causing changes to their mood and wellbeing.

However, experts say parents have a big role to play in helping kids manage this high-pressure period of their life.

Here are experts’ tips for how you can help make exam time a little easier:

Validate your child’s exam stress

A 2015 survey found a majority of Australian adolescents in need of emotional support believe their parents know little to nothing about what they’re feeling.

Scientia Associate Professor Rebecca Collie says parents should tune into their child’s emotions to ensure they feel supported before and during exam time.

“Research shows that listening to and acknowledging adolescents’ feelings about exams are important, as is asking the adolescent what support they need to help their studying,” Assoc Prof Collie, of the University of New South Wales, says.

“Checking in with the adolescent on how their studying is going and what works best for them can also be helpful.”

Watch your language

Assoc Prof Collie says the way parents speak to their children can influence how students react to exam stress.

“We know from research generally that being inflexible and using words like ‘you must’ can be detrimental for students’ academic motivation,” she says.

“Parents can seek out their child’s thoughts and opinions about studying by asking, ‘What study plan were you thinking about today?’ and ‘Is there anything I can do to help you get that underway?’”

Avoid guilt-tripping

Assoc Prof Collie says guilt-tripping kids to study better may have unintended consequences.

She says it may inadvertently make students focus their attention on how to avoid poor performance, rather than concentrating on how they can boost their performance.

“(This) can be harmful for students in terms of their academic achievement and also their wellbeing,” she adds.

Instead, she suggests parents help their children by focusing on the following:

• Developing a good study schedule
• Encouraging students to have a say in how they approach their studying
• Regularly checking in with the student to see how they’re going

Help your child set goals

Setting study goals helps students use their time effectively by helping them plan and focus better.

Assoc Prof Collie suggests parents help their child set goals that can be ticked off, which can be motivating as students can see they are making progress.

“For example, make a checklist of key concepts that need to be studied per subject,” she adds.

• Exam prep: 6 stress-busting tips for students

Prioritise exercise

Too much screen time among young people can cause difficulties in emotional regulation, according to a 2020 study, while another report recommends teens regularly switch their online activity for physical activity.

University of Queensland Business School lecturer Dr Adam Kay says parents should encourage children to “get up and exercise”.

“(Exercise) will not only improve their cognitive capacity to do well in the exams directly, but will also help them process… any sense of stress that they might feel around those exams through its effects on emotion regulation,” he says.

A 2022 study found exercising for 20 minutes a few times a week reduces test anxiety levels.

Encourage mindfulness

Dr Kay says parents may find it beneficial to introduce mindfulness to their children and help them keep a positive attitude for the exams through free online platforms.

“If they can encourage them to stop even just for a few minutes a day, maybe engage in some deep breathing and mindful reflection… that can help them manage that exam stress a little better,” he says.

A 2021 study found students who practise mindfulness report reduced anxiety and depression symptoms.

“Maintaining a positive mindset or being mindful can lead to better performance,” Dr Kay says.

• Download these: Top 5 mindfulness apps

Written by Melissa Hong.