Jacqui Felgate: ‘I am the mother of a tween’
The House of Wellness co-host Jacqui Felgate says skincare is a rite of passage for tweens – so long as we help them navigate it safely.
I am the mother of a tween. And there’s a lot to navigate.
At the risk of sounding very much like my own mother … kids these days just grow up so fast.
They really do.
Their childhood is over in the mere blink of an eye.
My daughter has gone from watching Frozen to reruns of Gilmore Girls in what seems like a millisecond.
She’s 12 years old and recently got her first mobile phone.
I resisted for as long as I could — until I became pretty much the last parent standing among her friendship group.
The double-edged sword of technology
There are some good things about the mobile.
She messages me to check in and say hello during the day, lets me know she’s on the bus, and there’s a cool app called Life360 that beeps when she’s arrived home safely.
But she also now has access to Snapchat and TikTok.
I moderate her account — basically I spy on her to the best of my ability!
And while I like that she can keep in touch with her mates, TikTok has opened up a rabbit hole of obsessions for the teenage girl.
Social media’s influence on tweens
And none more so than in the skincare and beauty space.
A wide variety of expensive products with active ingredients are marketed on social media by kids for kids.
I was sucked into one recently that burnt my skin when I put it on.
One can only imagine what it does to the peachy dermis of a 12-year-old!
A newspaper article recently described the rise in kids in the UK using anti-ageing products as ‘disturbing’.
Part of the problem, I think, is that tweens take what they see online to be fact — when it’s often far from it.
Not to mention the peer pressure element and the desire to spend what little pocket money they have on skincare to keep up with their friends.
As a parent, I have been guilty of facilitating this — of giving in to pester power because, quite frankly, I’m too tired to argue!
Although when my tween asked recently for a mini cosmetics cooler fridge to store her skincare in her room, my head nearly fell off.
Tween skincare obsession a rite of passage
Thinking back to the early ’90s when I was 12, I recall getting a pot of moisturiser and a random facial scrub with now phased-out microplastics in it that left my skin red raw.
I do understand that for many young girls, skincare and make-up is a rite of passage.
That certainly hasn’t changed over the decades.
So, how do we manage it?
I work with a suncare brand and recently met Melbourne dermatologist Dr Cara McDonald.
She runs an Instagram page I’ve found to be helpful in navigating what my daughter needs and what she actually wants.
She provides tips for a basic skincare routine for your tween.
Dr McDonald also reminds us that if we’re not sure, ask a professional.
How to help tweens make better choices
At the end of the day, it’s up to us as parents to seek the right advice.
I get sucked into things on social media all the time as a 41-year-old.
I have made so many ridiculous purchases — usually clothing — over the journey.
How can we honestly expect our kids to make the most appropriate choices for their wellbeing and body?
We need to put the problem back on the adults in the room when it comes to tweens and their skin.
We need to encourage and help them make the right decisions.
I think it’s great that tweens are interested in their own health and beauty but we have to guide them down the best path.
Now, where should I put that mini fridge?
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